Dating A Military Man
Words of Wisdom
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Words of Wisdom From Members of Our Board

I Am A Military Girlfriend
 
By Adra (two_of_cups)
 
I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card, I am not a “dependent” or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend, there is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions…smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where “I love you and I’m okay” speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend. The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend, not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, and fathers, please don’t forget about me.

You know you are a Military Girlfriend/Fiance/Wife when...
 
~We asked the members of our board to finish this sentence, and what a response we got!~
 
...you don't mind a phone call waking you up at 4 a.m. (cl-hayward1)
 
...you tell people that ask that he's 'only' been gone a month. (kabc25)
 
...the smallest contact (short email) from your man makes your entire week! (texas_mom1991)
...you cry over an email that says nothing more than hi and I miss you. (ouwildchild)

...you email everyone in your address book when you receive a one liner email from your MM! (truesunn)
...those recruitment commercials on TV make you cry because you are so proud! (pink_lemonade2044)
 
...your sentences start containing more [acronyms] and numbers than actual words. (mermaid124)
 
...you sleep in PT attire, cuddled up in a poncho liner, because it's the closest you can come to being with your MM. (garnet1117)
 
...you're sitting at home and you realize that you haven't talked to your DB/F/H in over a month. (nekrette)
 
...you get super excited just knowing that your DB tried to call but wasn't able to get through. (little_green_bug)
 
...you decide to combine your patriotism and staying sane while he's deployed... I'm in the middle of redecorating my bathroom.. Red & white stripes with blue stars... (kdea422)
 
...the first ball you go to as a [girlfriend] your name tag says "Mrs". Is that a self fulfilling prophecy or what?!? (luvtheballet)

...you know your a military girlfriend when your favorite 'man' to see everyday is the MAILMAN (what a love/hate relationship that is). (thinkinpositive)

...you know you are a military DG/DF/DW when you refer to everyone not in the militay or dating someone in the military as a Civilian, you can rattle off the time in perfect military time without having to think and finally you get excited when you can name the assault rifle correctly. (cl-aaj8)

...you stop shaving above the knees. (tutyfruitie)

...a 30 second phone call after no calls from him for 3.5 months leaves you full of joy and happiness, and "No news is good news" becomes your motto. (runnershigh)

...the motto "no shore too distant " becomes your life. (estefania21)

...you could wait forever for your loved one to return home into your arms. (queenpin1231)

...you feel yourself growning more and more in love with your MM even while he's so far away. (totally_intrigued)

...planning letters/ care packages and putting them in the mail is more exciting then going out for a night on the town with the girls (celeste0071)

...you don't mind tripping over combat boots left in the middle of the bedroom floor. (chickie_duck)

...while enjoying an evening alone together, your boyfriend shows you all the different ways he knows to kill or incapacitate a man, and then you casually continue cooking dinner as though it's perfectly normal, and you find yourself learning phrases in foreign languages from letters, and aren't surprised when you realize you know how to say, "Throw down your weapons and lay down on the ground!" in Arabic (mja34)

...you hold off on seeing certain movies so you can see them with your MM when he comes home (nightowl06)

...you want to roll your eyes when you hear someone say "i havent seen my boyfriend in a week!", you can be go from being happy, to sad, to lonely, to angry, to proud, and back to happy in a matter of less than an hour, and you sleep with the phone right next to you, just in case (geminisunset0529)

...if he's deployed you don't care how your hair looks nor care about wearing make-up, and the people at your work ask about your DB every day to see if you've heard from him (k9family)

...you start saying thing like "Wow that is a really nice box. Are you going to use that for anything?" to total strangers. (dnkennedy)

...you can give the rates for all the long distance calling cards on the market without hesitation. (jules511)

...the sight of any other man in a uniform makes you miss your boyfriend MORE than it makes you drool, and you try to explain to civilians what your boyfriend does for a living, they give you a blank look because they don't understand a third of what you just said.(mindimorris)

...you feel lucky for each second granted to the two of you. (ladybug_dsb)

...every new watch you buy had a two time zone feature. (shell_mi)

...you'll spend a total of 42 hours roundtrip on a greyhound bus just to be able to see him for a total of 4 days. (symplime)

...you are 3000 miles apart and you dont notice the time difference and talk until 5 am his time 2am your time on a school night, and  phone kisses are just as good as the real ones if not better (ummmm real ones are always better) (babychrissie)

...you realize you can forgive your bf for not calling you for a few weeks due to the fact he really had to work. (sweetheart109)

...you write JavaScript programs to display how many days and hours before he returns every time you go online, and your cell phone shows 87 screens full of the number 2 for "repeat message" after you hear he left you a voice mail message because you missed his first and only call so far! (inzannity)

...you get used to your plans changing at the last minute and taking a trip to Germany for 4-days with a 7-day notice seems very normal, and going 3-6 months without seeing your DB seems like a drop in the bucket compared to other women you know and what you have been through before. (slbin)

...you have seen the following movies more than 100 times: Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Heartbreak Ridge, The Right Stuff, Top Gun, and Apocolypse Now. (andy11371)

...you haven't heard from them in while you find yourself reading the old letters you have received is just something comforting to feel close in a way (dillyd18)

...you don't bat an eyelash when he say's "Uh, Honey they changed when I'm supposed to return home, yet again (for the 18th millionth time)". (jshjka)

...You might be a military DG if...you find it romantic when your MM serenades you with cadences.  (infantryDG)

AND...

According to hw35041, you know you are a Navy Girlfriend when you start hugging anything "naval related", and you know you have been spending too much time alone with your "naval thoughts" when you start picking out clothes that have: ships, ancors, sailors, or the ocean on with or around them.

Also according to gabbielove, you know you WERE a military girlfriend when you look at normal guys and think, "I can't go back to dating you guys. I've been militarized!"

Thanks to all the wonderful women of Dating a Military Man for their contributions!